[ot-ish] shhhh.....do you hear it? its the calm before the storm that coming in April

[tekki]

could be my real name

I hear ya bro'!

[b3nz0n8]

Only one more week....

....for what?



hehe

[b3nz0n8]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y

[JonathanBlake]

....for what?



hehe

April Fool's Day

[tekki]

[b3nz0n8]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpYEJx7PkWE

[b3nz0n8]

Noob Controllerist Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder

Part 1 of this exercise will be to identify characteristics of the impending Noob Controllerist Zombie Outbreak that will precede official notification.

These could include:

a. Disappearance of isolated O.G.'s to Miami, for the Miami Winter Music Conference, and what may turn out to be extended periods of time (i.e. Ultra);
b. Increasing numbers of redundant first time posts, relating to and with flagrant disregard of the search function, resulting in elaborate "HELP!!!!!??!??!?" and "Why can't I???!!!??!" topics, especially at night;
c. Identification of, and difficult to eradicate, mind-boggling perpetrators;
d. Recognition that the numbers of perpetrators is rapidly increasing and that those previously identified as victims have reappeared as perpetrators;
e. Increasing isolation of survivors resulting in excessive, but necessary use of....The Ban Hammer;
f. Breakdown of peace-keeping and medical services that align with excessive alcohol consumption and/or other 'coping' mechanisms;
g. Documentation of lots of strange moaning.


Part 2 of the exercise will be a discussion of how the overall impact of a Noob Controllerist Zombie outbreak will affect use of and support for the forum management system, and will address such issues as:

a. In general, Noob Controllerists zombified users will be inarticulate and unable to clearly describe technology problems and use cases;
b. Some support staff may be infected and unable to effectively and efficiently carry out their support responsibilities, therefore threads will trend toward.... I.B.T.F. or I.B.T.L.
c. The rapid breakdown of civil forum society and the declining numbers of uninfected users may have adverse budget impacts resulting in a reduction in staffing levels while inversely impacting the sales of Nutella;
d. The spread of NCZBSD ( Noob Controllerist Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder ) to forum administration may complicate policy making;
e. Conversely, the spread of NCZBSD to forum administration may simplify and streamline policy making resulting in dramatic improvements in administrative responsiveness and service delivery(hehe);
f. Additional security measures will need to be implemented at service delivery points (i.e. General Discussion and The Noob Theater).


Phase 3 of the exercise will cover important operational topics such as:

 Proper hygiene during an outbreak;
 Most effective hiding places and refuges should you encounter Noob Controllerist Zombies in the Native Instruments S4 Controller Discussion forum and/or Controller Mappings forum;
 How to properly process and route inarticulate zombie-calls to avoid being accused of failing to adequately support infected forum faculty, staff, members and O.G's;
 Situational work practices such as covering windows, barricading doors, and distinguishing between Noob Controllerist Zombie moans and other moaning encountered in the forums;
 Dispelling myths. For example, contrary to *8-Lawrence (2007),

*8-Lawrence, F. (2007). I Am Legend. In this documentary study of a ZBSD outbreak in New York City and surrounding areas, Lawrence asserts that the zombies were effectively deterred by garlic. However, it can be argued that the infected analyzed in Lawrence’s study were not, in fact, zombies at all due to their conscious hunting behavior, inability to come out during the day, and volitional, fluid movement. Hence, Lawrence may not be portraying ZBSD at all but part of what may be considered zombie behavior spectrum disorder; in which some infected not at the “true zombie” part of the spectrum (cf. Schlozman, op cit. fn 4) may in fact be deterred by the smell or presence of garlic. Once again, however, it is not the purpose of this disaster preparedness exercise to enter into this scholarly discussion.


Please Note:
1) Garlic will not stop true Noob Controllerist Zombies,

• Only vampires;
• And Noob Controllerist Zombies do come out during the day,
• Although, they are most active a night while posting redundant forum topics on the airspeed velocity of the unladen swallow.

2) Generally, and typically, because they do not like sunlight.....or using the search function.....or R.T.F.M.;


 Policies and procedures for dispatching an infected....

[b3nz0n8]

INFECTED NOOB CONTROLLERIST ZOMBIE DISPATCH FORM

Personal Information

Name: __________________________________________________ NCZFID: ___________
Work Phone: _____________ Work Address: ________________________________
Work Department/Unit: __________________________________________________ ___

Incident Information
Date of Incident: ___________________
Location: __________________________

This is to verify that at the time and place indicated above I was required to BanHammah __________________
(last,First name)_______________
NCZFID # ____________________

Because he / she / it was displaying the following symptoms:

• NCZBSD-Noob Controllerist Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder

(check all that apply):
_____ headache
_____ fever, resulting in inability to employ the 'search' function effectively
_____ chills, produced by redundant posts of incoherent content
_____ other flu-like symptoms
_____ unresponsive to most stimuli, except [OT] Madness
_____ moaning
_____ references to wanting to eat brains or Pineapple Pizza
_____ recently dead but moving again, and/or banned but back again
_____ large areas of decaying thought processes or redundant posts
_____ lack of rational thought (this can cause problems confusing zombies with managers)
_____ killed and ate another forum member: __________________ (name and unit of other forum member)

Based on these symptoms I (insert act of dispatch here:______________)

Using a:

_____ handgun
_____ rifle
_____ shotgun
_____ baseball bat
_____ chainsaw
_____ piece of furniture
_____ Ban Hammer
_____ explosive device - _______________(describe: results...in detail)

(describe device)
_____ other - _________________________ (describe)

Dispatching Forum Member Signature: _____________________________

Witnessses: ____________________ _____________________
(witness signature) (witness signature)

DO NOT WRITE BELOW THIS LINE -
TO BE COMPLETED BY FORUM ADMINISTRATION (If not already Zombified)
Reviewed by: _____________________________
(name) (title)

Dispatch is: _____ Approved
_____ Physical plant has been notified to send housekeeping for cleanup
_____ Forum Member has been sent additional ammunition (as appropriate)
_____ HR has been notified to stop midi credit payments to dispatched forum member(s)

Dispatch is: _____ Not Approved
_____ Physical plant has been notified to send housekeeping for cleanup
_____ Forum Member Supervisor has been notified to write letter of reprimand for Forum member file and a reduction in McNugget consumption by 1/2, mandatory on Friday and Saturday nights
_____ HR has been notified to stop midi credit payments to dispatched forum member(s)


_____ This is a first offence
*[If this is a repeat offence, forum member supervisor should be notified to initiate Zombie Roast Procedures.]

Publicly dispatching of Noob Controllerist Zombie Forum Members via the "Hammer Time (The Thread of Shame) " thread, shall result in hefty payments of McNuggets and Massive Midi Credits based on Skill, Showmanship, Performance Method and Technique of the dispatch in question.

Viva La DJTT!!

[fullenglishpint]

bahahaha, awesome.

[Karlos Santos]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y

That pretty much sums up some of the discussions on the Traktor forum.