It’s assumed by the female species that most djs do nothing but search for music and take girls home from the club. While there are those among our ranks that deserve this distinction, the fact of the matter is actually hooking up with girls while you are djing is not as easy as some might think. So, for those of you that are new to the game, here are 4 rules for getting the girl at the gig:
* we do have female readers so I hope they will see this post as funny, and not offensive :)
Rule #1 You are NOT going to take her home tonight.
Psychologists all agree that you need to spend at least 7 hours with a woman before she will allow you to get anywhere beyond second base. The idea that you, stud-muffin dj, are going to meet a young lass, woo her with your music, and take her home that night is a fable. The club, in reality, is a terrible place to try and pick up a girl - for djs and non-djs alike. Every single woman will concur that in the club environment their guard is up so your chances of getting anywhere are significantly lower. This is a great place, however, to start planting seeds – seeds that could grow into a fertile field of opportunity. Arm yourself with two important tools of the trade which should be wielded discriminately: <
- Your business card – and you might want to try something like this: “Hey - you and your friends seem to like the music quite a lot, shoot me an email and I’ll put you on the guest list next time I’m playing”. This non-threatening approach offers her something helpful and makes it sound like you could care less either way.
- Drink tickets. It’s my opinion that giving drink tickets to girls that are having fun, dancing, and making the party more enjoyable is just good dj policy. However, it is also a great icebreaker and a way to make contact. You might want to try: “You guys look like you are having fun, here, go enjoy a drink on me.”
Rule #2 Not all requests are bad
After ten odd years of club djing, I have developed a fail proof methodology for dealing with the inevitable request. It involves two important parts: SMILE and NOD. You dont actually need to say anything because smiling and nodding can be interpreted however they want it to. Usually, with enough smiling and nodding, a young lady will assume that you will play the horrible song she’s asked for and go away happy to leave you alone for the rest of the night. This moment, however, is sometimes a missed opportunity. You might consider that almost 50% of girls that come up and request a song don’t actually want a song at all - this is just the only way, in their heavily inebriated state, for them to talk to “the DJ”. So if she requests, literally, the worst song in the universe- it’s probably because it’s the only song she can think of in that cloudy moment. Try to set aside her bad taste and if she’s cute recognize the moment for what it is and get her phone number.
Rule #3 It’s your job
At the end of the day, to remain competitive and get gigs, you are going to have to offer more than just great music. On a local level, this means expanding your network of attractive women that like to go out and listen to your music. Just because you meet a beautiful woman in the club, doesn’t mean you have to take her on a date. You might make a set of business cards listing just your website or ask her to sign up for your email list. Building up a roster of dedicated fans, will absolutely become one of your most valuable assets – but you are not going to build it, if you don’t talk to anyone. So be friendly, flirt with girls (even if you aren’t interested), and if you show that you are having a good time, chances are, they’ll come see you play again.
Rule #4 If you wait until the end of the night, you’ve waited too long.
No girl worth her salt is going to be caught dead waiting around at the end of the night. If you and a hot young vixen catch eyes during your set do yourself a favor: put on a long song, take a needed bathroom break, or find some way to say a little hello, before your set ends. Doing this will greatly increase the remote possibility that she might stick around and talk to you after the show.
I am NOT suggesting that you spend your entire dj set flirting with girls. In these economic times you probably need the job a lot more than you need the girl. But let’s be honest with ourselves, djing is fun for a variety of reasons the social not being one of the least. Music will always come first, but follow these four rules carefully and you might find yourself at the end of the night in possession of napkins with more than just requests on them.
That was different, great read… I luv this site :D
lol, psychologists don’t get one night stands.
HAHA> It’s the Pick-Up Artist for DJs.
Oh and… my favorite trick is the drink tickets.
I was just hearing this before I read this post and I think it should be played before any set.
Andre Harris - 10 Things Not To Say To a DJ (Innate Soul Vox)
Ian, this is good source of information. haha
you see, i laugh because it’s true.
cheers
More chicks for Djs!!!
This is great Ean your really showning your experience as knowing this can only come from that. After reading this you reminded me of something that i had stored in my note closet. THE DJ ANALOGY
A good DJ loves music; a bad DJ loves money, sex, publicity, and free drugs. A good DJ knows the dancers are teammates; a bad DJ thinks they’re an audience. A good DJ makes eye contact with the crowd to see what they want; a bad DJ never looks up from those seductive spinning labels. A good DJ floats happily across genre categories; a bad DJ plays safe with tracks from as narrow a scene as possible. A good DJ feels out the crowd and improvises a set to fit; a bad DJ plans it at home over cocktails. A good DJ works hard to track down obscure imports and classics, a bad DJ works hard to sleep with people running mailing lists.
At its simplest, the job is about bringing musical greatness together. The hard work comes in building a great music collection, in spending unreasonable amounts of time on hunting for records that will make people go crazy. Those overpaid few hours lording over the decks? That’s just when all this hard work gets delivered.
The key talent is programming. Play a great record at exactly the right moment and embrace and guide the ride. This is largely a people skill. Bad DJs live in their own autistic world. They’ll doggedly play their favorite tunes even if no one in the club agrees with their choices. Good DJs can sense other people’s tastes and value them as much as their own. A great DJ can read a dancefloor and pull out a track that exactly fits the place they’ve reached in the night’s story. Viva la D.J..
Regards DJ Aldo De` Bongo..
P.S DO U HAVE ANY NEWS ON THE NS-7 RELAEASE IN ASIA?
My father once told me the following:
” she is extremely pretty son, but someday a
Man will come and take her from you. A man much better than you or I.
These men are called djs son and all women yearn to be with a dj”
Seriously, what’s a girl ?
lovely…
That was pretty cool thanks for posting it Peace Komancho
out off good topics here?
Not on you to judge if it is a good topic.
To me, it is funny topic. Good one.
Heh nice write up
Awesome, great read>
I’ve actually tried the smile and nod before……
Not in a club. And not with random girls, just my lovely Girlfriend.
Works a charm!
Rj x
I have become a master of the smile and nod. It has saved my life, and attention span, more often than not
… I have tried to call Cindy but she is not responding… probably a fake number… once again :)))
Minuteman
LOLz, I just thought the stupid grin and shaking my BCR in the air would do the trick tbh. :D
I love the pics you post just as much as the articles they are in. Great read, both the read and the pics cracked me up.
not at all -we have a back log of articles and topics extending into january but sometimes all this tech talk gets a little old and its good to have a nice funny article that everyone can enjoy.
plus hidden in the female joke are some good fundamental dj tips.
I Loved this article. Besides, if you take out the hole girl side of it, it a really good article on networking and making the most of every gig.
Thanks Ean
This artcile was written in the sense that there are no female djs, (or only lesbian ones).
Female djs only exist to get pulled by male djs?
Probably.
))) senx, Ean. It’s realy fun
I am proud to say that we do have female djs on this site, hense the first lines:
” we do have female readers so I hope they will see this post as funny, and not offensive”
something tells me that they generally dont have any problem getting mens interest. This one was certainly for the guys only
he must have been a whise man!
haha!
great article ean!!!
Classic article Ean!
Shot for the T-shirt they are bling as!
Luv2xra, thats funny I heard that tune just last night 5 minutes after reading this article for the first time!
nice one ean :)
always been a fan of this site for its great articles:
but, how about sticking to great articles about dj’ing and gear. where did this topic come from??
its funny, the idea actaully came from a woman I have been dating. she thought it would be hilarious and I agreed. Besides, cant we have a little fun around here too? :)
The drink ticket thing never works for me or anyone else I know if you’re looking to pick up - it does keep them coming back though!
disclaimer: I’m a bartender first and DJ whenever I’m not working, so I do see lots of guys trying to buy girls drinks and then not going home with them - there’s plenty of girls who go out with no money or just enough to pay the cover charge and get trashed for free because they can get guys to buy their drinks. My rule is only giving drinks away to friends, good tippers and girlfriends, but if you’re DJing and want to gain a few followers might be an idea to use some of that bar tab on the ones you want to keep coming back!
its funny, the idea actaully came from a woman I have been dating. she thought it would be hilarious and I agreed. Besides, cant we have a little fun around here too? :)
true that! still rocks..! :)
LOL! Awesome post, man!
Definately a fun topic Ean but at the same time essential. When it comes down to it, as a dj you gotta do more than just play music. Being aproachable and charismatic is part of your job. Your what keeps the party going! If your doing your job correctly women will naturally come.
Articles like this are refreshing. Keep it up!
Top article Ean. All the haters of the article need to settle down. This site is no different to reading a paper. I’m not a big sports fan, hence i don’t read the sports section. The site is about bringing knowledge to those who wish to learn and when you live in a mining town like myself competing against 90 blokes to 10 sheilas even the DJ has trouble finding “that girl” so articles like this are a godsend and a good laugh. I think the most or all the girls who frequent this site would have had a read and a giggle and taken it with respect as no more than an entrepeneaur (spell please lol) teaching the god given talents of an industry which a lot of people sometimes misenterperate (and again) as a turn up and play occupation.
And to further comment i believe Ean has shown a great deal of strength in speaking about something which us as DJ’s often get shot down for as just there to play music and pull chicks.
Another good article by Ean Golden. Keep up the great work!!!
This is mad funny… But so True!!!!!
Wow, it’s like the people here can’t have, y’know, fun. There is more to our lives than just doing this DJ thing.
Maybe we should convince some of those female DJs to write a response talking about how to get guys to stop treating them like a novelty act or something. :-)
what about those of us with girlfriends (or boyfriends)? there is the obvious jealousy issue on either side of the coin. how do you deal with that AND be a “good” dj?
thats a very good question- and there is not an easy answers. Being friendly and outgoing will help you get more gigs but how to ballance that with respect for a partner? its a tough line my friend- and on that subject I am no expert.
When I had a girlfriend she was just as much a regular at the clubs as I was. I made it very clear to her what I needed to do as a DJ in regards to flirting and buying drinks and all. Honesty goes a long way.
If the jealousy is so bad, though, that is prevents you from working and all then you need to nip that in the bud quick or else it’s only gonna get worse
This is definitely a great article and it hits good points for any dj. If this site was just dedicated to technical dj articles, then we wouldnt have great postings, like how to travel around the world and dj. Im in a relationship and my girlfriend understands a girl will want to talk to me, as long as I respect her, im good. You definitely need a girl following there usually more enthusiastic then a male. Either way I love this site because it explains the whole world of djing not just the technical side of it. How many videos/sites are out there explaining how to dj but never explain how the whole engine works.
this article is really funny…..and is so true dj so many Djs think because they are dj they think they can take a girl to be on the 1 nyt….this is one of the reason i would go out with a dj lol JK
You forgot one important thing………you have to not give a shit if they come home with you. That usually works.
As said above, awesome article packed with alot of really good advice :)
Its nice to mix stuff up like this on the blog once in a while.
This article is wicked, honestly funniest thing I’ve read this morning, also bizarrely helpful!
Great read!
I’d like to throw in my .02 cents here.
When it comes to girls….. I’d say I do ok, better than most maybe. However when I’m DJing those are my most UN-fruitful nights ironically. I mean I’ve had the drunken make-out or similar but that’s about where it stops for me.
My theory is: Most clubs have many attractive girls running around and in their “relaxed” state their inhibitions are a bit “softened” we’ll say. I would say it’s pretty easy to take a girl home from a club/bar if done properly. The real problem is…..Logistics.
Like Ean said, most girls aren’t gonna stay till the very end of the night unless you are mr hotshit super star DJ that she’s a huge fan of. So being a regular DJ like myself and being a closer usually equals leaving the club solo. Especially if you’re a Digital DJ cause of all the breakdown time it takes for your gear.
However, girls tend to be kinda flakey with phone numbers at times. If you call them the next day or two they’re in a much different state than when they originally met you and you were the man of the hour. Now you’re just “that DJ guy”
So how does one fix this? quite simple….. The Afterparty.
Plan an after party at your place or your buddy’s place. hype it up to the girls that you’re hollering at and really any attractive girl you talk to at all during the night. Teach your friends well and have them do the same.
Go party, if the girls come over well I’d say you win, but even if they flake there surely will be some girl there that you probably didn’t talk to but “just loved your set soooooo much” hahah
hahah hope I didn’t get too grimey with this post.
-Fisher
Haha love this article! Its deffinitly approaching djing at the social level which is a major part of it. And never is the thought of hooking up with that hot girl making eye contact with you all night, far off my mind when djing.
This article is essential haha.
I LOVE YOUR SITE MAN!
A real DJ speaks to Real DJs, keep it up
thanks!
great point!!!
Its stuff like this that makes djtechtools my homepage ;-)
@ Ean, where’d you get that 7 hours thing? ;-) Lot of solid advice here; this is an awesome article.
“Your business card – and you might want to try something like this: “Hey - you and your friends seem to like the music quite a lot, shoot me an email and I’ll put you on the guest list next time I’m playing”. This non-threatening approach offers her something helpful and makes it sound like you could care less either way.” - Ean
Slight spin on this. Have your biz card and a pen. I’d stick “Hey - you guys seem like a good time! i’ll make you a deal; if you PROMISE to be tons of fun at my shows from now on, i’ll throw you on my mailing list. *rip biz card in half, give her the blank half and hand her the pen*. (blah blah blah small talk small talk). *she hands you the half with her email on it, give her the other half of the card with your website on it*. “oh yeah, here’s you should DL the blahblahblah mix on my website btw!” obv website has tons of impressive stuff of you on it. and i’d definitely suggest putting a ton of your own personality into this and really make it your own.
general concept is this: even when girls are attracted to you, they sometimes won’t take the first step (reaching out to you via email after you give yours). even though i hate running email stuff, it gives you her contact info. add her to the mailing list (lolz, if you have one and weren’t just making that up) and shoot her a personal email that’s funny and will ask some fun, open ended questions. if you really get a good vibe just get the number; it’ll make life a lot easier.
girl DJs have it easy. you can have a hump back and be behind decks and us guys will eat it up. ;-D
@ Fisher: my $0.02 on yours!
I don’t really agree with the whole “relaxed state” mentality of girls being at the club. similar to what ean said, guards are up as they know they’re going to be hit on when they’re out at night, which is consequently why it’s easier to get numbers and such if youre out during the daytime doing some shopping or at the grocery store and you see a cute girl.
definitely agree with the whole logistics things, though. it’s a big hoop for them to jump through and you have to had run things really tight for them to just come back to yours. i LOVE the idea of the afterparty — that’s genius, man. giving them some plausible deniability (they’re not going back to yours to do what is obv on both of your minds, they’re going back for a party!) is definitely the way to go. get your buddies on board as you stated — having one of them be able to DJ so you can step off the decks and talk to your girl 1:1 and win over her friends is very necessary. otherwise, you step off the decks at the end of the night, her friends bail all at once as there’s no music, and you miss out big time as they take her with them.
also, you’re really on point with what you said on girls falling out of state. good thoughts.
very amusing, insightful thread and comments. and yeah, i could talk about this shit all day :-D
oh yeah — all of the above is just my perspective. use at your own risk, kids ;-D
This is hilarious, but it’s not totally correct. I was out the other night, spotted the DJ and knew exactly what I wanted (it had been a LONG time and he was soooo ridiculously good looking). He ended up inviting me back to his place and it was a great night. So it’s not out of the question :)
What I want to know is, what about girl DJs? I’m just starting to try and get gigs…do girls get the boys attention, too?
I always learn new things here! So I need to spend 7 hours talking to a girl, that possibly where I have been going wrong :p
this article was so much fun to read, and so true! thanks a lot Ean ;)