• bill

    This is a dumb article. I’ve have done most of the things on here.

  • http://www.teamwing.com.au Dave Socal

    End of the night…. you can always hit on the bar tender

    • KYRO

      Talk about shitting where you’re eating.

  • http://lsdev.biz Joe

    Rule 1# = Weak Game

  • Ben

    But what if it’s an 7 hour set?

  • http://www.fubar-rec.com/ XLII

    Wicked Ean. Drinks tickets all the way. I noticed this approach works cos I don’t drink and always give mine to people. People LOVE drink tickets and if they get them from you they’ll love you. :) be it girls, organisers, other performers or just random happy drunks. :) big ups.

  • Rub Doff

    What is MONKEY SICK BASS!!! . . . I don’t get it?

  • RADAR

    Awesome, accurate, just found this site and im impressed. Long live real dj’s.

  • lauti

    7 hours!!

    but all I wanted to do was preciesley planting my seed

  • mandingo

    ManDingo thinks you sound like a chic.

  • http://facebook.com/djdubbs DJ Dubbs

    I personally never will take a female home after a gig. I think it leaves a bad personal impression. They will think you are easier than back scratching.

  • dj noname

    mandingo leave some chicks for us..
    that why we got into this dj thing

  • dj noname

    mandingo’s my man

  • Mandingo

    ….I don’t know about you guys, but some how when you’re referring to females as Girls, as apposed to Women, I get this image of one djing with a clowns outfit turning balloons into chipmunks and wiener dogs. I don’t know…that’s just me.

  • Mandingo

    On a serious note: Leave the women at home…no chix should get in the way of a gig! or put them to work with a clip pad or a PDA and have her walk around networking for you signing club peeps on your mailing list or FACEBOOK FAN PAGE! You just better hope she doesn’t run in to Mandingo. For three hours work she’ll come home with just one name for your FAN PAGE. thats right, Mandingo!

    You- “what’s…who…what the hell is Mandingo…thats it… one name”?

  • Mandingo

    What!!!? Any problems with girls,chix, lasses, women, babes, hotties, fraulines, bimbos, MILFs send then to Mandingo. Nothing over 180 lbs though. Mandingo cares but not that much. Or just invite me to your next gig and I’ll look over your precious so that you may spin at ease. I’m the problem solver cause Mandingo Cares!

  • http://www.lqp.se Emil Beatsnatcher

    Being a DJ means you’re probably in a booth which means you’re probably overlooking the dancefloor / club which means you see what dirty deeds all these young women get down to and quite frankly, at the end of a night I see very few women who have not been defiled by one or several men already…

    I’ll just stick to my tradition and go home, hug my hot water bottle.

    Me cynical? Noooo, how dare you!

  • Anonymous

    im a girl and i think it’s funny! nice one.

  • Anonymous

    [quote comment=""]Ha ha, I’m def going to start doing the Smile and Nod thing.[/quote]
    [quote comment="15336"][quote comment=""]what about those of us with girlfriends (or boyfriends)? there is the obvious jealousy issue on either side of the coin. how do you deal with that AND be a “good” dj?[/quote]

    thats a very good question- and there is not an easy answers. Being friendly and outgoing will help you get more gigs but how to ballance that with respect for a partner? its a tough line my friend- and on that subject

    I am no expert.[/quote]

    LOL

    When my current GF and I met, she was intrigued that I was a ‘DJ’.
    I had just started getting club gigs etc.
    She was cool with it and liked the vibe.

    However, I soon started playing bigger outdoor parties and headlining and thats when the attention got too much for her.
    Made her VERY insecure.

    Me being a friendly outgoing sort of chap….I was just being friendly to the ‘fans’.
    I kinda know them as they are locals and from our online community and forum.

    Still does not sit well with her.

    The other thing is that I don’t or can’t go to a party and PARTY.
    Just does not happen. I can’t hit the dancefloor all night (too old..hehehe) and I rather socilaise with the other DJ’s and crew and mates.
    She finds all the ‘shop’ talk very boring.

    So its tough.
    I usually make sure i take a buffer along. Like one of her mates or someone to keep her occupied with I do my thang.

    I mean, it ends up being networking at the end of the day when I go out.
    I secure more gigs, hear about parties that are in the pipeline etc.

    Its business now…not just fun.

    However, that IS fun to me.

    I try and keep my GF out of that scene. Rather put in extra time with her doing what she wants to do. Then I am free to do my thing.

    Trust I suppose, is what it comes down to.

    We together for 7 years now so…..

    :)

  • http://idjtoo.wordpress.com idjtoo

    Ha ha, I'm def going to start doing the Smile and Nod thing.

  • Anonymous

    this article was so much fun to read, and so true! thanks a lot Ean ;)

  • http://kookin.co.uk/2008/10/behringer-ddm4000pro-mixer/ nick

    I always learn new things here! So I need to spend 7 hours talking to a girl, that possibly where I have been going wrong :p

  • Anonymous

    This is hilarious, but it's not totally correct. I was out the other night, spotted the DJ and knew exactly what I wanted (it had been a LONG time and he was soooo ridiculously good looking). He ended up inviting me back to his place and it was a great night. So it's not out of the question :)

    What I want to know is, what about girl DJs? I'm just starting to try and get gigs…do girls get the boys attention, too?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5Kr3Ht607g DJ Dishevel

    oh yeah — all of the above is just my perspective. use at your own risk, kids ;-D

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5Kr3Ht607g DJ Dishevel

    @ Ean, where'd you get that 7 hours thing? ;-) Lot of solid advice here; this is an awesome article.

    "Your business card – and you might want to try something like this: “Hey – you and your friends seem to like the music quite a lot, shoot me an email and I’ll put you on the guest list next time I’m playing”. This non-threatening approach offers her something helpful and makes it sound like you could care less either way." – Ean

    Slight spin on this. Have your biz card and a pen. I'd stick "Hey – you guys seem like a good time! i'll make you a deal; if you PROMISE to be tons of fun at my shows from now on, i'll throw you on my mailing list. *rip biz card in half, give her the blank half and hand her the pen*. (blah blah blah small talk small talk). *she hands you the half with her email on it, give her the other half of the card with your website on it*. "oh yeah, here's you should DL the blahblahblah mix on my website btw!" obv website has tons of impressive stuff of you on it. and i'd definitely suggest putting a ton of your own personality into this and really make it your own.

    general concept is this: even when girls are attracted to you, they sometimes won't take the first step (reaching out to you via email after you give yours). even though i hate running email stuff, it gives you her contact info. add her to the mailing list (lolz, if you have one and weren't just making that up) and shoot her a personal email that's funny and will ask some fun, open ended questions. if you really get a good vibe just get the number; it'll make life a lot easier.

    girl DJs have it easy. you can have a hump back and be behind decks and us guys will eat it up. ;-D

    @ Fisher: my $0.02 on yours!

    I don't really agree with the whole "relaxed state" mentality of girls being at the club. similar to what ean said, guards are up as they know they're going to be hit on when they're out at night, which is consequently why it's easier to get numbers and such if youre out during the daytime doing some shopping or at the grocery store and you see a cute girl.

    definitely agree with the whole logistics things, though. it's a big hoop for them to jump through and you have to had run things really tight for them to just come back to yours. i LOVE the idea of the afterparty — that's genius, man. giving them some plausible deniability (they're not going back to yours to do what is obv on both of your minds, they're going back for a party!) is definitely the way to go. get your buddies on board as you stated — having one of them be able to DJ so you can step off the decks and talk to your girl 1:1 and win over her friends is very necessary. otherwise, you step off the decks at the end of the night, her friends bail all at once as there's no music, and you miss out big time as they take her with them.

    also, you're really on point with what you said on girls falling out of state. good thoughts.

    very amusing, insightful thread and comments. and yeah, i could talk about this shit all day :-D

  • http://www.chrisogrady.com CounterpoinT

    Its stuff like this that makes djtechtools my homepage ;-)

  • http://www.eangolden.com Ean Golden

    [quote comment=""]I LOVE YOUR SITE MAN!

    A real DJ speaks to Real DJs, keep it up[/quote]

    thanks!

    [quote comment="15384"]

    My theory is: Most clubs have many attractive girls running around and in their "relaxed" state their inhibitions are a bit "softened" we'll say. I would say it's pretty easy to take a girl home from a club/bar if done properly. The real problem is…..Logistics.

    So how does one fix this? quite simple….. The Afterparty.

    Plan an after party at your place or your buddy's place. hype it up to the girls that you're hollering at and really any attractive girl you talk to at all during the night. Teach your friends well and have them do the same.

    Go party, if the girls come over well I'd say you win, but even if they flake there surely will be some girl there that you probably didn't talk to but "just loved your set soooooo much" hahah

    [/quote][/quote]

    great point!!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/djtonok DJ Tony OKay

    I LOVE YOUR SITE MAN!

    A real DJ speaks to Real DJs, keep it up

  • Alex Byrne

    Haha love this article! Its deffinitly approaching djing at the social level which is a major part of it. And never is the thought of hooking up with that hot girl making eye contact with you all night, far off my mind when djing.

    This article is essential haha.

    [quote comment=""]I'd like to throw in my .02 cents here.

    When it comes to girls….. I'd say I do ok, better than most maybe. However when I'm DJing those are my most UN-fruitful nights ironically. I mean I've had the drunken make-out or similar but that's about where it stops for me.

    My theory is: Most clubs have many attractive girls running around and in their "relaxed" state their inhibitions are a bit "softened" we'll say. I would say it's pretty easy to take a girl home from a club/bar if done properly. The real problem is…..Logistics.

    Like Ean said, most girls aren't gonna stay till the very end of the night unless you are mr hotshit super star DJ that she's a huge fan of. So being a regular DJ like myself and being a closer usually equals leaving the club solo. Especially if you're a Digital DJ cause of all the breakdown time it takes for your gear.

    However, girls tend to be kinda flakey with phone numbers at times. If you call them the next day or two they're in a much different state than when they originally met you and you were the man of the hour. Now you're just "that DJ guy"

    So how does one fix this? quite simple….. The Afterparty.

    Plan an after party at your place or your buddy's place. hype it up to the girls that you're hollering at and really any attractive girl you talk to at all during the night. Teach your friends well and have them do the same.

    Go party, if the girls come over well I'd say you win, but even if they flake there surely will be some girl there that you probably didn't talk to but "just loved your set soooooo much" hahah

    hahah hope I didn't get too grimey with this post.

    -Fisher[/quote]

  • http://www.myspace.com/weheartfisher Fisher

    I'd like to throw in my .02 cents here.

    When it comes to girls….. I'd say I do ok, better than most maybe. However when I'm DJing those are my most UN-fruitful nights ironically. I mean I've had the drunken make-out or similar but that's about where it stops for me.

    My theory is: Most clubs have many attractive girls running around and in their "relaxed" state their inhibitions are a bit "softened" we'll say. I would say it's pretty easy to take a girl home from a club/bar if done properly. The real problem is…..Logistics.

    Like Ean said, most girls aren't gonna stay till the very end of the night unless you are mr hotshit super star DJ that she's a huge fan of. So being a regular DJ like myself and being a closer usually equals leaving the club solo. Especially if you're a Digital DJ cause of all the breakdown time it takes for your gear.

    However, girls tend to be kinda flakey with phone numbers at times. If you call them the next day or two they're in a much different state than when they originally met you and you were the man of the hour. Now you're just "that DJ guy"

    So how does one fix this? quite simple….. The Afterparty.

    Plan an after party at your place or your buddy's place. hype it up to the girls that you're hollering at and really any attractive girl you talk to at all during the night. Teach your friends well and have them do the same.

    Go party, if the girls come over well I'd say you win, but even if they flake there surely will be some girl there that you probably didn't talk to but "just loved your set soooooo much" hahah

    hahah hope I didn't get too grimey with this post.

    -Fisher

  • DRC

    Great read!

  • Anonymous

    This article is wicked, honestly funniest thing I've read this morning, also bizarrely helpful!

  • BentoSan

    As said above, awesome article packed with alot of really good advice :)

    Its nice to mix stuff up like this on the blog once in a while.

  • protomind

    You forgot one important thing………you have to not give a shit if they come home with you. That usually works.

  • nathaly

    this article is really funny…..and is so true dj so many Djs think because they are dj they think they can take a girl to be on the 1 nyt….this is one of the reason i would go out with a dj lol JK

  • luv2xra

    This is definitely a great article and it hits good points for any dj. If this site was just dedicated to technical dj articles, then we wouldnt have great postings, like how to travel around the world and dj. Im in a relationship and my girlfriend understands a girl will want to talk to me, as long as I respect her, im good. You definitely need a girl following there usually more enthusiastic then a male. Either way I love this site because it explains the whole world of djing not just the technical side of it. How many videos/sites are out there explaining how to dj but never explain how the whole engine works.

  • DvlsAdvct

    [quote comment=""]what about those of us with girlfriends (or boyfriends)? there is the obvious jealousy issue on either side of the coin. how do you deal with that AND be a "good" dj?[/quote]

    When I had a girlfriend she was just as much a regular at the clubs as I was. I made it very clear to her what I needed to do as a DJ in regards to flirting and buying drinks and all. Honesty goes a long way.

    If the jealousy is so bad, though, that is prevents you from working and all then you need to nip that in the bud quick or else it's only gonna get worse

  • http://www.eangolden.com Ean Golden

    [quote comment=""]what about those of us with girlfriends (or boyfriends)? there is the obvious jealousy issue on either side of the coin. how do you deal with that AND be a "good" dj?[/quote]

    thats a very good question- and there is not an easy answers. Being friendly and outgoing will help you get more gigs but how to ballance that with respect for a partner? its a tough line my friend- and on that subject I am no expert.

  • sdj

    what about those of us with girlfriends (or boyfriends)? there is the obvious jealousy issue on either side of the coin. how do you deal with that AND be a "good" dj?

  • DvlsAdvct

    Wow, it's like the people here can't have, y'know, fun. There is more to our lives than just doing this DJ thing.

    Maybe we should convince some of those female DJs to write a response talking about how to get guys to stop treating them like a novelty act or something. :-)

  • http://www.djeloy.com Eloy Garcia

    This is mad funny… But so True!!!!!

  • DJ Coight

    Top article Ean. All the haters of the article need to settle down. This site is no different to reading a paper. I’m not a big sports fan, hence i don’t read the sports section. The site is about bringing knowledge to those who wish to learn and when you live in a mining town like myself competing against 90 blokes to 10 sheilas even the DJ has trouble finding “that girl” so articles like this are a godsend and a good laugh. I think the most or all the girls who frequent this site would have had a read and a giggle and taken it with respect as no more than an entrepeneaur (spell please lol) teaching the god given talents of an industry which a lot of people sometimes misenterperate (and again) as a turn up and play occupation.

    And to further comment i believe Ean has shown a great deal of strength in speaking about something which us as DJ’s often get shot down for as just there to play music and pull chicks.

    Another good article by Ean Golden. Keep up the great work!!!

  • Alsius

    Definately a fun topic Ean but at the same time essential. When it comes down to it, as a dj you gotta do more than just play music. Being aproachable and charismatic is part of your job. Your what keeps the party going! If your doing your job correctly women will naturally come.

    Articles like this are refreshing. Keep it up!

  • http://kodermusic.com DJ Koder

    LOL! Awesome post, man!

  • m.smith

    its funny, the idea actaully came from a woman I have been dating. she thought it would be hilarious and I agreed. Besides, cant we have a little fun around here too? :)

    true that! still rocks..! :)

  • mainform

    The drink ticket thing never works for me or anyone else I know if you're looking to pick up – it does keep them coming back though!

    disclaimer: I'm a bartender first and DJ whenever I'm not working, so I do see lots of guys trying to buy girls drinks and then not going home with them – there's plenty of girls who go out with no money or just enough to pay the cover charge and get trashed for free because they can get guys to buy their drinks. My rule is only giving drinks away to friends, good tippers and girlfriends, but if you're DJing and want to gain a few followers might be an idea to use some of that bar tab on the ones you want to keep coming back!

  • http://www.eangolden.com Ean Golden

    [quote comment=""]always been a fan of this site for its great articles:

    but, how about sticking to great articles about dj'ing and gear. where did this topic come from??[/quote]

    its funny, the idea actaully came from a woman I have been dating. she thought it would be hilarious and I agreed. Besides, cant we have a little fun around here too? :)

  • m.smith

    always been a fan of this site for its great articles:

    but, how about sticking to great articles about dj'ing and gear. where did this topic come from??

  • http://www.myspace.com/djkloseline Kloseline

    nice one ean :)

  • midifidler

    Classic article Ean!

    Shot for the T-shirt they are bling as!

    Luv2xra, thats funny I heard that tune just last night 5 minutes after reading this article for the first time!

  • earl-panda

    [quote comment=""]My father once told me the following:

    ” she is extremely pretty son, but someday a

    Man will come and take her from you. A man much better than you or I.

    These men are called djs son and all women yearn to be with a dj”[/quote]

    he must have been a whise man!

    haha!

    great article ean!!!

  • http://www.eangolden.com Ean Golden

    [quote comment=""]))) senx, Ean. It's realy fun[/quote]

    [quote comment="15314"]This artcile was written in the sense that there are no female djs, (or only lesbian ones).

    [/quote]

    I am proud to say that we do have female djs on this site, hense the first lines:

    " we do have female readers so I hope they will see this post as funny, and not offensive"

    something tells me that they generally dont have any problem getting mens interest. This one was certainly for the guys only

  • Corax

    ))) senx, Ean. It's realy fun

  • Mole

    This artcile was written in the sense that there are no female djs, (or only lesbian ones).

    Female djs only exist to get pulled by male djs?

    Probably.

  • http://myspace.com/djyeshua DJYeshua

    I Loved this article. Besides, if you take out the hole girl side of it, it a really good article on networking and making the most of every gig.

    Thanks Ean

  • http://www.eangolden.com Ean Golden

    [quote comment="15293"]out off good topics here?[/quote]

    not at all -we have a back log of articles and topics extending into january but sometimes all this tech talk gets a little old and its good to have a nice funny article that everyone can enjoy.

    plus hidden in the female joke are some good fundamental dj tips.

  • Taz

    I love the pics you post just as much as the articles they are in. Great read, both the read and the pics cracked me up.

  • http://www.ome-les.com tekki

    [quote comment=""]

    I have become a master of the smile and nod. It has saved my life, and attention span, more often than not[/quote]

    LOLz, I just thought the stupid grin and shaking my BCR in the air would do the trick tbh. :D

  • http://www.myspace.com/mr_minuteman Minuteman

    … I have tried to call Cindy but she is not responding… probably a fake number… once again :)))

    Minuteman

  • http://www.rubicat.com/dj_dvlsadvct DvlsAdvct

    [quote comment=""]Awesome, great read>

    I've actually tried the smile and nod before……

    Not in a club. And not with random girls, just my lovely Girlfriend.

    Works a charm!

    Rj x[/quote]

    I have become a master of the smile and nod. It has saved my life, and attention span, more often than not

  • http://www.rumblejazz.com Rumblejazz

    Awesome, great read>

    I've actually tried the smile and nod before……

    Not in a club. And not with random girls, just my lovely Girlfriend.

    Works a charm!

    Rj x

  • Ticho

    [quote comment=""]It's true you might not go home with her tonight and planting the seed for future hook ups is important. But 7hrs to get to second base? HAHAHAHAA

    Anyway, awesome and fun article!

    [/quote]

  • Krilikz

    Heh nice write up

  • http://tos.network.in.rs DJ ToS

    Not on you to judge if it is a good topic.

    To me, it is funny topic. Good one.

  • fluxs3

    out off good topics here?

  • http://www.myspace.com/radiumrx Komancho

    That was pretty cool thanks for posting it Peace Komancho

    [quote comment=""]lovely…[/quote]

    [quote comment="15288"]This is great Ean your really showning your experience as knowing this can only come from that. After reading this you reminded me of something that i had stored in my note closet.

    THE DJ ANALOGY

    A good DJ loves music; a bad DJ loves money, sex, publicity, and free drugs. A good DJ knows the dancers are teammates; a bad DJ thinks they’re an audience. A good DJ makes eye contact with the crowd to see what they want; a bad DJ never looks up from those seductive spinning labels. A good DJ floats happily across genre categories; a bad DJ plays safe with tracks from as narrow a scene as possible. A good DJ feels out the crowd and improvises a set to fit; a bad DJ plans it at home over cocktails. A good DJ works hard to track down obscure imports and classics, a bad DJ works hard to sleep with people running mailing lists.

    At its simplest, the job is about bringing musical greatness together. The hard work comes in building a great music collection, in spending unreasonable amounts of time on hunting for records that will make people go crazy. Those overpaid few hours lording over the decks? That’s just when all this hard work gets delivered.

    The key talent is programming. Play a great record at exactly the right moment and embrace and guide the ride. This is largely a people skill. Bad DJs live in their own autistic world. They’ll doggedly play their favorite tunes even if no one in the club agrees with their choices. Good DJs can sense other people’s tastes and value them as much as their own. A great DJ can read a dancefloor and pull out a track that exactly fits the place they’ve reached in the night’s story. Viva la D.J..

    Regards DJ Aldo De` Bongo..

    P.S DO U HAVE ANY NEWS ON THE NS-7 RELAEASE IN ASIA?[/quote]

  • Jaha Rocca

    lovely…

  • Burndiwnthediscos

    My father once told me the following:

    " she is extremely pretty son, but someday a

    Man will come and take her from you. A man much better than you or I.

    These men are called djs son and all women yearn to be with a dj"

    Seriously, what's a girl ?

  • http://www.aldobongo.com DJ ALDO

    This is great Ean your really showning your experience as knowing this can only come from that. After reading this you reminded me of something that i had stored in my note closet. THE DJ ANALOGY

    A good DJ loves music; a bad DJ loves money, sex, publicity, and free drugs. A good DJ knows the dancers are teammates; a bad DJ thinks they’re an audience. A good DJ makes eye contact with the crowd to see what they want; a bad DJ never looks up from those seductive spinning labels. A good DJ floats happily across genre categories; a bad DJ plays safe with tracks from as narrow a scene as possible. A good DJ feels out the crowd and improvises a set to fit; a bad DJ plans it at home over cocktails. A good DJ works hard to track down obscure imports and classics, a bad DJ works hard to sleep with people running mailing lists.

    At its simplest, the job is about bringing musical greatness together. The hard work comes in building a great music collection, in spending unreasonable amounts of time on hunting for records that will make people go crazy. Those overpaid few hours lording over the decks? That’s just when all this hard work gets delivered.

    The key talent is programming. Play a great record at exactly the right moment and embrace and guide the ride. This is largely a people skill. Bad DJs live in their own autistic world. They’ll doggedly play their favorite tunes even if no one in the club agrees with their choices. Good DJs can sense other people’s tastes and value them as much as their own. A great DJ can read a dancefloor and pull out a track that exactly fits the place they’ve reached in the night’s story. Viva la D.J..

    Regards DJ Aldo De` Bongo..

    P.S DO U HAVE ANY NEWS ON THE NS-7 RELAEASE IN ASIA?

  • Nanotek dj

    More chicks for Djs!!!

  • Artax

    you see, i laugh because it's true.

    cheers

  • http://www.grbeats.com G-R-Beats

    Ian, this is good source of information. haha

  • luv2xra

    I was just hearing this before I read this post and I think it should be played before any set.

    Andre Harris – 10 Things Not To Say To a DJ (Innate Soul Vox)

  • B33SON

    Oh and… my favorite trick is the drink tickets.

  • B33SON

    HAHA> It's the Pick-Up Artist for DJs.

  • tobamai

    lol, psychologists don't get one night stands.

  • http://www.imeem.com/dirtycache DirtyCache

    That was different, great read… I luv this site :D